4 Trust ye in the Lord for ever: for in the Lord Jehovah is everlasting strength (KJV)
4 *Ding-dong* Hello, we’d like to talk to you about the one true, Almighty God, Jehovah? *Door slams*(BBI)
Still have yet to get a knock on the door from a Jehovah’s Witness. Sigh.
9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? (KJV)
9 Is there really any such thing as love? The heart is a big fat liar. Perhaps evil even. Who could possibly understand the heart and “love.” And women…WOMEN! Not even I, the Lord, can! Hell, I had to knock up some 12 year-old Jewish virgin girl. (BBI)
5 Thus saith the Lord; Cursed be the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm, and whose heart departeth from the Lord. 6 For he shall be like the heath in the desert, and shall not see when good cometh; but shall inhabit the parched places in the wilderness, in a salt land and not inhabited. (KJV)
God DAMNNN!!! No translation needed. That’s cold. One spiteful Motherfucker.
Bad Bible Interpretations 