11 But the meek shall inherit the earth; and shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace. (KJV)
11 The meek shall have the whole world to themselves, mainly because the introverted are looked down upon in Western civilization and seen as weak, boring, and not cool. They will become social pariahs, leading to an abundance of peace (but perhaps not inner-peace due to feelings of inadequacy and loneliness). (BBI)
7 Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass. (KJV)
7 Do not fret if the Lord leaves the house or is busy and goes off doing whatever he’s doing. Just wait. Because he’ll come back. Be patient, and you shall be rewarded. Besides you can just go on the Internet or play Candy Crush on your smartphone while you wait. (BBI)
22 And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive. (KJV)
I prayed once when I was eight. I never got that puppy.
Bad Bible Interpretations 