Month: July 2015

1 Corinthians 13:11

11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. (KJV)

11 When I was a child, I spoke as a child. I understood as a child. I thought as a child (which makes sense since you were a child. Like seriously, it doesn’t take a frickin’ genius to make this easy connection that if you’re a child, you probably act and live your experiences as a child.) When I became a man, I put away all the happiness in my life. Video games? Gone. Playtime? Gone. Taxes? Yes. Mortgage? Yes. I lost my whimsy and joy in the little things and got obsessed with trying to prove myself and keep moving up into upper management at my boring, cubicle-enclosed career. But hey, 401k matching. I’ll be able to retire at 60. Maybe. Social Security is failing. (BBI)

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Matthew 1:20

20 But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost. (KJV)

20 My dude, Joseph! Dude, dude, I’m telling you, there’s this hot ass babe, Mary. You should totally get with her man. Man, just don’t be afraid, dude. You got it. I know her through that other chick. You know, Mary Magdalene? That girl is a freak. But dude, Magdalene is friends with the other Mary. She’s like the girl-next-door type – super cute, innocent – but apparently she’s kinda into you, dude. Virgin too. Hell yeah, man. Get on that and put the Holy Ghost in her, if you know what I mean 😉 (BBI)

Leviticus 18:22

22 Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination. (KJV)

22 Ewww, guHroo0sss! Like a peener with another, ew! How does that even work?!
Wait, EW, YOU MEAN UP THE BUTTHOLE?! It’s…it’s like a brown snake then.

Girl-on-girl scissoring is pretty hot though. (BBI)

Bit late, but congratulations on marriage equality, my friends of whatever sexuality.