Month: October 2015

Mark 1:16-18

16 Now as he walked by the sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and Andrew his brother casting a net into the sea: for they were fishers. 17 And Jesus said unto them, Come ye after me, and I will make you to become fishers of men. 18 And straightway they forsook their nets, and followed him. (KJV)

16 Jesus walked by the Sea of Galilee and saw Simon and Andrew casting a net into the sea and pulling out fish. ‘Ah, they must be fishers,’ Jesus miraculously deduced from no obvious clues at all. 17 Jesus walked over to them in the golden aura he imagined. Doves flying. Lasers. Mist. Hip-hop airhorns. He spread his arms in dramatic fashion and said, “Come after me, and I will make you fishers of men. 18 Simon and Andrew looked up from their hard day’s work and looked toward the shore. Simon asked, “Who’s this New Age hippie in his white robes and sandals?”

“More than that, what the hell does he mean by fishers of men?” Andrew inquired.

“I don’t know. Let’s go check it out.” And Simon and Andrew left their nets and followed him. Leading to a lucrative life of human trafficking. (BBI)

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1 Samuel 16:7

So a special request from J.B. Becker for this verse. (Was supposed to be last post, but I typed in the wrong verse. Woops!)

But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart. (KJV)

But the Lord said unto Sammi, “I mean, don’t even worry about. You shouldn’t even like look at his face or his height…or his crooked teeth, red hair, weird mole, strange haircut, hairy chest, crusty fingernails, or acne-filled face. I mean, just give him a chance, Sammi. Just because I laughed in his face when he confessed his feelings for me and asked me out doesn’t mean you shouldn’t at least go out on a date with him. You’re in a totally different league than me, know what I mean? Like you should go for him. Like totally. I mean you can’t like really like do much better, right? Besides, he’s a nice guy.” (BBI)