The Story of the Three Magi

¹¹ And when they were come into the house, they saw the young child with Mary his mother, and fell down, and worshipped him: and when they had opened their treasures, they presented unto him gifts; gold, and frankincense and myrrh. (KJV)

¹¹ They arrived at the house after a long week’s travel, and, upon seeing the baby Jesus and his mother Mary, they collapsed at the feet of the infant Savior and worshipped him. Young Mother Mary smiled pleasantly and thanked them for the kind gesture.

“No, the honor is all ours,” one of the magi said. “Please, let us show our gratitude.” And all at the same time, each magi brought a wrapped gift out from under their robes.

The first magi unwrapped his gift and presented it to Jesus and Mary. “Here is my humble gift of gold, straight from the neck of ‘Lil Jon himself.”

The other two magi looked at each other. After a long pause, the second magi finally exclaimed, “HUMBLE?! Way to one up us, dude!” The third magi jumped in, “Yeah, what the fuck, man. You’re making us look like some cheapskates! Besides I thought we agreed to a $20 limit?”

The first magi defended himself, “Sorry, sorry, I forgot, geez! Just show yours.” The second magi then grabbed his gift apathetically and sighed as he opened the wrapping, revealing frankincense.

There was another pause, then everyone in the room except the second magi burst into laughter. “Frankincense?! Perfume?!? HAHA. Is the baby trying to get laid? HAHA!!”

The second magi erupted from his seat and shouted, “HEY, WHY DOES PERFUME GOT TO BE GENDER-SPECIFIC, HUH? YOU SEXISTS! YEAH, CHECK YOURSELF!” Everyone stopped laughing immediately and anxiously looked at each other.

“Okay then…” the third magi broke the tense silence, “So, the final gift.” He unwrapped the cloth, and everyone huddled around to see.

“Myrrh? Wait, isn’t that used for embalming dead bodies?”

“Yeah,” the third magi responded.

“That’s really dark, dude.”

“What? It’s like 1 B.C. Lots of infants die from complications! I was just being thoughtful!” (BBI)