Month: April 2016

Exodus 3:1-6

The Story of Moses and the Burning Bush

Now Moses was tending the flock of Jethro his father-in-law, the priest of Midian, and he led the flock to the far side of the wilderness and came to Horeb,the mountain of God. There the angel of the Lord appeared to him in flames of fire from within a bush. Moses saw that though the bush was on fire it did not burn up. So Moses thought, “I will go over and see this strange sight—why the bush does not burn up.”
When the Lord saw that he had gone over to look, God called to him from within the bush, “Moses! Moses!”
And Moses said, “Here I am.”
“Do not come any closer,” God said. “Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground.” Then he said, “I am the God of your father,[a] the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob.” At this, Moses hid his face, because he was afraid to look at God. (NIV)

Moses was tending to his father-in-law’s flock. He led the grazing sheep to the far side of the forest to Horeb, the mountain of God, near where the special plant grew. Suddenly, a heavy earthy smell surrounded him and his body began to tingle. A hallucination of an angel appeared to Moses from the flames of fire from a distant bush. “What is this strange sight, this familiar smell?”
The Lord, sitting in thirty pounds of marijuana, saw that Moses was now approaching the “bush.” God freaking out, called to him, “Moses! Moses!”
And Moses said, “I’m right here, Dude.”
“Hey man, hey man, can you like not come any closer?” God said. “Take off your sandals, man! Put on some socks! They’re onto us!”
“God, what are you–”
“Shh…the government’s stealing our electric brain signals through the floor!

Moses gave God a look of deep concern.
The Lord noticed this and boomed, “Do not question me! I am the God of your father,[a] the God of Abraham…oh man, I’m high as fuck.” At this, Moses hid his face in embarrassment, ashamed to look at God. (BBI)

Happy 420, y’all. Don’t have a bad trip.

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